


Ghosts in the Wind

by SoldiersWar



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Cooks, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Love, Cute Bucky Barnes, F/M, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:07:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23255929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoldiersWar/pseuds/SoldiersWar
Summary: You and Bucky have a perfect life. You wouldn't change your life for anything with your perfect home, and your perfect daughter....But things aren't always as they seem.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Kudos: 14





	Ghosts in the Wind

You walked through the doorway smelling the smell of fresh pasta and cheese being broiled in the oven.   
“Well that was quick,” said a voice from the kitchen that was none other than your husbands.   
“Uggh,” You groaned, throwing your bag on the floor.  
“One piece of paperwork. One. And I had to go all the way to mid-town for that bullshit.”   
“They couldn’t fax?” he replied, mildly amused by your past dilemma.   
“No. They needed like 3 different witnesses or something while I signed it. Do you know how weird it is signing something while 3 old men who are going through their mid-life crises attempt to stare at the paper, and not your ass? You think you’re nervous writing your signature for your driver’s license? Try that.”   
He gave you a sympathetic, lighthearted frown and walked over to embrace you with his long, strong arms, and kissed the top of your head resulting in an automatically smile that brought back all warmth to your cheeks like a little school-girl with a crush. 

“Hey, where’s—”   
“Mommy!” yelled your three-year-old as she ran towards you and jumped into your arms.   
“There’s my little monkey!”   
“Did you miss me?” You asked, squeezing her cheeks which made her smile that inevitably morphed into a duck face.   
She nodded enthusiastically.   
“I missed you thiiiiiis much!” she exclaimed, raising her little arms and spreading them as far apart as she could possibly reach.   
The little liar. You were barely gone an hour, and she loved daddy time.   
“Yeah, of course you did,” You said before planting a million little kisses onto her red cheeks as she giggled and squealed. 

She was the biggest daddy’s girl. She always climbed on him, cuddled him while you both watched tv with her, and ran straight to him when she fell and hurt herself.   
One would think you could be jealous of that, but you really weren’t. You had your own special bond with her since the moment you found out she existed, and there was nothing that could take that away from you. Especially not Bucky. You both loved that little girl to death.

And watching Bucky be such a doting father did nothing but warm your heart beyond measure.   
Everybody said that she was the spitting image of you, the exact same way that you were your mother’s doppelgänger. And to an extent, they were correct. But she had a perfect mixture of your green eyes and her dad’s striking grey eyes. She was shy around new people, so when she nervously laid her head on either of your chests (depending on who was holding her) for comfort, they couldn’t see that she had the exact same smile as her dad; or even a lot of his mannerisms. When she even talked like him sometimes. She was just as much him, as she was you.   
“James…”   
“What?”   
“Have I finally gone crazy? Or can I smell cheese on the verge of burning?”   
“No—”   
You handed your daughter over to him, and she happily obliged as you walked over to open the oven.   
It wasn’t quite burnt. In fact, it was going to be pretty good, but it was on that line.   
As you pulled it out of the oven, you gave him the ‘I told you so,’ look.   
Your daughter laughed knowing that ‘daddy was almost in biiig trouble’ expression on your face all too well.   
“What would I do without you?”   
“Burn all of the pasta,” You chuckled while rolling your eyes.  
Once again, your little girl burst out into giggles.   
He put her down at the same time as you set the dish on the stove.   
“I love you smart-ass,” he chuckled.   
“I love you too, asshole,” you replied before he planted a soft kiss onto your lips.   
One would think that you would have gotten used to it; but every time he kissed you, it felt like the first time in a long time. Like it could be the last time. Nothing could spoil it, even when you could hear a high-pitched ‘ewwwwww’ in the background. But it was just further validation that she knew that her parents not only loved her, but loved each other very, very, very much as he would say.   
He looked deep into your eyes, which made your cheeks blush once again. Hell, that look was what got you pregnant.  
“I’m sorry,” he whispered seriously.  
“Oh relax, there was no actual damage,” you lightheartedly scoffed.  
“You know what I mean.”   
You gave him a confused frown.   
“I’m going to miss you,” he whispered sadly before wrapping his arms around you tightly, and rested his face atop your head, planting a soft kiss.   
“But I’m not going anywhere,” you said against his chest trying to comfort him, still absolutely confused as to what was happening.   
Suddenly, the little one frantically wrapped her arms around your legs as fervently as Bucky was.   
“Don’t go, mommy!” she cried.  
“What is going on?”   
“I love you,” he said one last time against your lips.   
…  
You jolted awake as though you had been pressed underwater for 5 minutes. As you frantically looked around the dark room and became more and more aware of your surroundings, it didn’t get much better. You still couldn’t breathe. Your chest felt so tight that it felt as though it were about to cave in and break all of your ribs. Your hands trembled. In fact, you felt the trembling traveling throughout your whole body like an infection.   
“Y/N?” A soft, sleepy voice asked next to you on the bed.  
You jumped and turned to your best friend Wanda who was there.   
She wasn’t Bucky.   
She wasn’t Bucky.   
Where was Bucky?   
“Hey, hey, hey,” she whispered, lightly and cautiously resting her hands on my shoulders.   
Her soft, warm hands began to ground you to some extent.   
She wasn’t James. She was never going to be James. There was never going to be another James again.   
She sat there patiently and brushed her thumbs against your shoulders. It eventually helped to stop the shaking, and breathe at a steadier rate to some extent. It felt as though you were on the verge of passing out from the influx of oxygen that bombarded your lungs.   
Maybe you wanted to pass out.   
When the initial shock finally subsided, and you realized where you were, and who you were with a whole other wave of emotions came up.   
After what had happened…After Bucky had died a week ago, she stayed with you at all times to make sure that you wouldn’t hurt yourself, or do something equally as erratic.   
“Was it—”   
You immediately began to sob uncontrollably. You sobbed so hard that it felt like you were choking on your sobs.  
You didn’t move.  
She helped you lay back down and wrapped an arm around you holding you close from behind as the sobs continued to wrack your whole body. She whispered soft hushes but probably knew that you were helpless at the moment.   
You had had many nightmares since the incident happened. Ones of pure terror.   
But if you had to be honest, this had to have been the worst one you could imagine. Imagining a happy life. The happy life with him that you had had with him a little over a week ago. A happy life with the child that didn’t exist in real life, but the one you both dreamed to have in the near future. A child that was exactly the way you imagined she would be like. It made you want to die. You wanted to go back. Oh God, why couldn’t you just go back?  
“She didn’t have a name,” you sobbed.   
“Who?” she whispered, holding your hand no matter how hard you gripped onto it.   
But it was all you could say.   
Your baby.   
The little girl who in your last moments of seeing the manifestation of that child moments ago who you didn’t even comfort within your last moments with her, even if she never really existed. If only you had known that you would be leaving her…The both of them in that dream. You would have held on tightly. You would have held on longer. You would have held on as long as you possibly could.  
She didn’t even have a name.  
And that was all you could say. It was the only thing you said. It was all you repeated for God knows how long.   
But your best friend in the whole world didn’t stop you. She didn’t question your senseless murmurs. She didn’t even ask you to stop crying. She just held on as much as she could, because he knew that it was all he could do.  
Maybe if you could leave this world…You could go back to that sweet, sweet dream and hold on to those two very people you wanted to see most. But she wouldn’t let you.   
So you were stuck here. 

Locked out of heaven, silently screaming for those ghosts in the wind.

**Author's Note:**

> I cried while writing this, so you have to suffer too.


End file.
